Following the debut of bigger iPhones and the new Apple Watch, I’m riddled with questions. If you will humor me, I will fire a few at you. Don’t you realize that the iPhone is why most of us stopped wearing watches? So aren’t you supplying a consumer market that really no longer exists?
First off, no shit — you myopic Hollywood ass clowns. Second, this is in colossally poor taste. Given the source, perhaps we should be grateful that they exercised some editorial restraint and weren’t compelled to use favorite words like boffo, or to employ some grating pun. Still, no excuses. Fuck you Variety.